Jill Joblonkay, Oneness / Higher Self Consultant & Coach

Once in a while, I emerge from a certain situation where I have been very vocal from my Higher Self and the personality it finances itself through, and I feel a sense of longing to return to where I can be myself again. I feel a deep surge of despair because I feel like I can no longer express myself the way that I was meant to when I emerged on this earth from the non-physical sense of the Higher Self. It isn’t like a pubescent longing to be a part of something larger than myself – part of something popular where I have lots of people to consider myself popular – it’s a deep marking of my original self that has become nothing more than a stain when my Lower Self emerges and begins to negotiate with others who are on this earth, for a place within its society.

Yuck.

“A stain,” was perhaps the best way that I could put it, because a shadow implies something dark. I am always alert that there is something more that I would love to emerge and show itself full-force when I am in my community or at work. But I just can’t allow that part of my persona to remain or I could literally be forced to work somewhere else, or in certain parts of the world, be jailed for my work or expression of myself from my Higher or Original Self that remains here on earth.

What this looks like is that I become more of my personality when I am at work or am with someone else either socially or in a familial or public setting. I joke with others – I like to consider myself to be funny – and I like to consider myself to be playful and not a part of this stain that I consider to be my Higher Self which, ultimately, has no personality. I bump up the part of Jill, in other words, that has developed to where she can sustain her work and her marginal place within a society that for the most part, doesn’t want her to perform her work (not her occupation) as her Original Self.

This doesn’t make for the most logical way to start her day, when her primary objective for being sent down to earth (in the normal human way) was to be able to say that we are so much more than we consider ourselves to be when we recognize ourselves as a person of this earth, and that we can allow ourselves to be so much more as our Original Self once we acknowledge that we feel like we search for that so much more every day, and only seem to accomplish it when we relax and allow our original nature to come more forward.

What this is to say is that we are no longer content to live our lives each and every day when we are sent to be an example of that so much more that we can be on earth once we acknowledge our Original Self and the way that it comes to play in our external world.

Most people find a sense of satisfaction from being around family or having a wonderful place to work. Some people, find the search for so much more – that sense of having something familiar that makes us acknowledge the peace that we are – to be such a nagging feeling that something is lacking, that no matter what place they work or amazing group of people they find themselves living with, they can never feel a familiar sense of identity, fulfillment, or enjoyment, no matter how wonderful their external worlds are. If this is your case, and you have made it through all of these words thus far, then perhaps it is because you are searching for a more familiar sense of identity that has nothing to do with your more acceptable physical frame or the world that has become known as home for her. I want you to acknowledge in your own way that if you are feeling this sense of urgency to know so much more within your physical frame that can make you feel at home or as if you have a purpose on this earth, then perhaps you are the type of person that I will speak about today.

As I said, occasionally I emerge from just such a situation where I get to perform as that so much more person without a personality, that just sort of lingers in her higher domain and acts through her person as if this is just normal for her day. I get to speak without thinking – but not in a nonsensical way – and I get to just let words (and sometimes actions) just emerge from my person as if it was just the most normal way to be a person while on this earth. I can tell you that when I am my more normal person and I am just allowing these words to flow as I am here today, I don’t feel like I have much of a personality, and yet I am a much more joyful person than I have ever been or felt like when I was attempting to be the life of the party or just a joyful person who likes to play. There is so much more joy beyond the limitations of a personality, that I just can never feel satisfied when I return to my normal life or day at work and take on a personality who does somewhat enjoy her normal time here on earth.

What happens is magical when I no longer employ where I am a personality and I just get to experience or witness the Higher Self at work in it’s joy here on earth so that others can get to know themselves beyond their personality where they have this joy so that others can learn to change their focus to where they have this joy beyond their normal personality so that others can surface from where they feel almost dead upon this earth in their own personality where they do not serve others from this joy. And yes, this is a run-on sentence, but it displays perfectly the nature of this work when we are born to serve others from this state where there is a non-personality person who is acting like their Higher Self who was born to be on this earth in their more normal state in order to serve others with their memory of so much more so that they can serve others, and so on. It is not remarkable to say that I serve others from where I have this memory that is more of where I serve others from my non-physical Higher Self rather than where I work at a place of service here on this earth. In fact, it is more normal than anything, to say that I serve from this memory of my Higher Self so that I can serve others to remember their Higher Self so that they can serve others from this memory, and so on. I think it is quite unremarkable to want to be a part of this memory of how the Higher Self can serve while she is capable of performing like everyone else here on earth, and I hope you will take advantage of where I offer you this memory so that you can perform from where you serve as your Higher Self so that you can instill in others this memory of what we are all longing to serve for so that we may awaken and let this entire Higher Self emerge where we are lower and are in pain because we feel so separate from where we came from originally.

I want you to remember so much more than where you are a soul who can also remember pain. When I emerge in my memory of so much more where I am no longer a soul first either, I just kind of float in a world that does not know pain because she does not know herself as something separate. I just kind of emerge as a memory of a Higher Self and I let others know that they are the same, and if they want to serve in this way to remember their Higher Self so that others can imitate it in some way, then they will find their own way to no longer serve their pain of their Lower Self who just can’t, nor could ever, find her own way in her Lower Self or her own way to pray for something to serve that would find her as fulfilled as she is longing for.

I want you to pray to whatever you consider to be the highest, to just know if you are born to serve as this Original Self in your lower way, and then just sit in meditation until you start to observe that your more normal self can emerge and can start to imitate from where you are born to serve in this way.

The logic here is that you are all born to serve in some form. If you are born to serve as someone who was born or incarnated from their Higher Self, or the Holy Spirit as I like to say, then you will yourself inspire your Lower Self to remember your more normal higher way. There is a real danger here when someone inspires you to look for something more in your own being if we are to define what you are looking for. Anything, any form, can become manifest in your mental illusion of your Lower Self if you pray to a specific god or suggestion from someone else. We are all just a mental form of something that was born to serve as a pure radiation of itself – of a source, if you will – and the Source is beyond all form because it is beyond all things mental as well. As a human, we are only capable of imagining ourselves beyond our human form so far, and so we will often pray to something that has the mental observation or dogma that we are looking for – something that we can put into a mental form or an object etc., and when we are in this much pain, we are open to whatever someone else is looking for that brought them relief in some way. So, I will most often only say to pray to whatever you consider the highest, because if we all pray toward Source, we will all end up in the same place, ultimately, and your mind will rest along the way in whatever mental construct it wants to create of whatever form or place is beyond your normal mental or physical form of your Lower Self in this world that we now know as home.

That being said, I pray to Source in the way that I can’t know it in its mental form. It is so far beyond what I can imagine, that I can only know I have come its way when I experience a certain almost-vacuous experience within the centre of my chest. I feel a sense of wholeness that feels so normal, and yet I could not hold it in any form nor give any words to let others know when they have also found it. As a mentor, I can acknowledge when someone else has found it. I can coach or guide someone until they experience that sense of Oneness or Source in their meditation within their physical frame, or I can point it out when they naturally slip into it while we are simply having a conversation about something higher than this physical world.

Now, don’t make a mistake and think that I mean that you are not meant for this physical world. In fact, it is quite the opposite. You are – and I mean this sincerely – meant to be of your lower source, for now. There is no way to go back to that something more by leaving this physical form prematurely, if that is what you are thinking of or how you think you can find your way back to where you are mental energy beyond this physical form, who will not suffer in this physical way. I want you to find your way back to where you can experience that so much more right here, right now, so that someone else can start to recognize that they are so much more that they know now. Right here, this is where you can explore where you are of a more mental source (what I would call the Christ Consciousness) than where you are of your lower source known as your physical self. Right now, is where you can remain as the Oneness or the bright spirit of the Higher Self or Christ Consciousness, or witness the spark of the Holy Spirit within the centre of your chest, as the greatest act of service known to man, thus far. It only takes an act of imagination to put yourself back to your original source within yourself right now, and that is the hardest part of the sense of self that I offer you right now. It isn’t magical. There are no drums or harps playing because you can assess where you are beyond magical or the greatest spirit here on earth. You are just Source, and sometimes that is hard to get excited about. It is not like going on the greatest ride in Disney Land of a spiritual source, that takes you out of how you are feeling in your Lower Self. It is just a practical way to be yourself in this world, and I am afraid that you may be more bored by its prospect than you know of yourself now.

We have spoken of self-congratulations in other pages, and that is where this impact can be the most felt or the most important. I want you to engage with your Higher Self for the benefit of others, and this is the so much more that you have been looking for. And, only if you can acknowledge that you put this effort in for the benefit of others, even at the expense pain toward your Lower Self, can you start to acknowledge that you are one with Source and that this is in fact, the most joyful you will ever feel while you are in this lower self.

So, welcome back to being able to acknowledge yourself as Source, and when you emerge from this back into your Lower Self because you didn’t feel as if you were able to feel normal as your Higher Self in your more normal world, just remember that you have only temporarily disabled where you feel your more normal self will emerge as something permanent while you are a part of this world. You will go back to the Oneness the more that you are able to acknowledge that it was just as wonderful – if not more so – than anything your lower personality could have encouraged you to experience or know about yourself using your more normal words or descriptive ways to suggest what is more enjoyable for now.

Allow yourself to explore what it means for all of these words that I have laid upon your table to consider about where you are more normal, and then just see what words start to emerge beyond your thought-table that you thought you were born for until now.

And so it is,

And so you will emerge as “more normal” than you ever thought was possible if you just explore what is beyond your more normal words of your Lower Self…

Continue to encourage yourself with a, “Well done!” or whatever words of encouragement or joy emerge from your more normal Higher Self. And welcome back!

Amen